Friends Without Benefits
by myloxylotos
Summary: AU-ish one shot.


It was really good being friends with Will. We could be together without any awkwardness of our past, the mistakes we made and the risks we should have taken. We got to the stage in our relationship where we kissed each other at times and said 'I love you'. We both knew it wasn't meant as _love _love, it was a friendly love. After months of this 'friendly love' was being passed back and forth, I wondered it friendly love was all we would ever amount to.

I loved being friends with Emma. It was nice. We could just _be _together. I was learning so much about her I never knew, and she was learning about me. Some nights, time would get away from us and we would talk until I saw the sun rise over her shoulder. I would inform her we've been talking all night and she would ask to take a shower. I let her because she's my friend, my best friend and I would do anything for her. Realization that I didn't want just a friend hit me when I was cleaning the master bedroom and I heard the water pounding on the tile and Emma's soft voice singing a song everybody knows but is always unrecognizable. I was picking up my bag from its place slung over the edge of the bed when I came to the fact that I love Emma. She knew it, but she thought it was the love shared between two friends instead of two lovers. She didn't know I wanted all of her, all the time. The urge to open the door, deliver the news and shower with her was strong when my brain decided the fact, but I had to stop. She trusted me and doing something like that could ruin everything we spent the last eight months rebuilding.

I knew Will was in love with me. Not friendship love anymore, real love. The kind of love that Nicholas Sparks tries to capture in his films and books. The kind of love that ate at your heart until you had to let it out, the kind that released a flurry of butterflies in your stomach when you laid eyes on the person. The kind that made you want all of that person, all the time. I couldn't wait to be with Will in that way. I was nervous.

I had to avoid Emma as often as possible until I got my thoughts straight. It wasn't easy. After eight months of talking to her practically constantly, it was very hard diverging my path away from her office, eating lunch in mine and not answering most of her texts. I was afraid she would be mad at me. I wanted to protect her from myself and my selfish antics. I was nervous.

Will was in his boxers, surrounded by beer and ice cream when I opened the door to his apartment. "Emma, what are you doing here?" I almost laughed at him, but I needed to be serious if this was going to work. "We haven't seen each other all week, Will. I figured we could meet up for Friday movie night." Friday movie night became a tradition after a movie he was excited for and a movie I was anticipating came out on the same Friday. "Beer and ice cream? That's a strange combination, even for you Will." Of the things I was learning about Will, one was that he liked strange combinations of food. He once had a pickle dipped in chocolate with ice cream on it. I excused myself to the bathroom when he took a bite.

There was something strange about the glint in Emma's eyes that night. I couldn't determine what it was but it pursued me to say what was on my mind for weeks previous. "I love you." Emma smiled, she didn't understand. She told me she loves me too, but she didn't get it. She grabbed an ice cream box and put beers cans in it to clean up my mess. She's adorable. I grabbed her arm forcefully but not cruelly. "No, I _love _you." Her face was innocent for a second, she repeated herself before it clicked in her head.

He loves me. I don't know why I was surprised, I knew he did, but him saying it was so diverse from me cockily thinking it. "I _love _you too, Will." He looked relived, I knew he would be. I slithered out of his grasp and went to the kitchen to throw away the trash in my hand. As I was throwing away the rest of Will's mess he snuck up behind me and placed his arms around my stomach. When he placed kisses along my neck I wasn't scared, we've done things like this many times before, it was relaxing to both of us.

I knew she wouldn't back away repulsed when I placed kisses to her neck. Once we laid in bed with our hands on each others hips and placed kisses on the parts of the others body that made them sigh and whimper. It wasn't sensual, it was just friends. A different way for friends to treat each other, but we never had a normal relationship why should we start now? Emma turned around in my arms and a boisterous smile coasted on my lips.

I knew Will was going to say something, but I couldn't let him ruin this moment. He always tends to ruin the most romantic moments, not this time. I kissed his smile and he was taken aback for a moment. I only kissed his lips a few times since our relationship went through it's renaissance and I was sure he missed the feel, the taste and warmth of my lips because I missed his as well.

She kissed me. There wasn't time to ask dumb questions, much less time to think of them when Emma kisses me. I lifted her into my arms and sat her on the counter. Slipping my arm around her waist I assaulted her revealed chest with sloppy kisses. Her hands caught themselves in my hair and she twirled a curl around her finger. A delightful pinch ran through my veins when Emma pulled on my hair after I surrounded her nipple with my mouth.

Nobody had ever done the things Will was doing to me. I knew it made him hard when I reminded him, so I did. "You're the first. I wanted you to be the first." I moved my hands from his curls to his shoulder blades and pulled him closer. "I love you."

"Oh God. I love you too." I pulled her closer as well, until we were chest to chest. We still weren't close enough. "Too many clothes." I didn't realize I actually made that comment out loud until Emma hopped off the counter and pulled me to the bedroom. I growled at her forwardness.

My nerves were tingling and my brain was running wild. I wanted to have sex with Will but he was almost fully undressed. I would have to undress in front of him, with his affectionate eyes gawking at me. Maybe he would offer. Oh God, what if he liked to watch women take their clothes off in front of him? I realized I knew nothing of what Will liked in the bedroom. Top or bottom? Long or short? I started to hyperventilate as Will pulled me into his lap.

"Baby what's wrong? Am I moving too fast?" She denied it but something was obviously wrong. "Then what is it?" Emma then blamed nerves which was something I could understand. "I'm nervous too."

"How? You're not a virgin."

"No, but I am about to make love to a gorgeous virgin I've loved for a very _very_ long time. I know you're nervous, but I'm here to help you and make you feel as comfortable with me as you want." After he said that, all my nerves disappeared. Thankfully Will dragged my shirt up my stomach as a sign to let him take it off. If he hadn't I would've just sat on his lap staring at him. That wasn't a bad option either, now I think about it.

I flipped Emma on her back and pulled the covers over our bodies. Gently, I rested my palms on the waist band of her cute, flowy pale blue skirt and pushed it down her toned thighs. Her almost transparent periwinkle lacy panties matched her silky periwinkle bra. "Did you get these just for me? You expected this?"

"I'm a guidance counselor, Will. That's one step away from being a psychologist. I could tell from your mannerisms. Also I missed you. Periwinkle makes me think of us." I loved when our clothes matched, especially when he wasn't with me but we looked like we belonged together. When I got dressed I always wondered what Will was wearing and if we would match.

"You're beautiful." I climbed up the curve of her body and lifted her to my lips. "I love you. You're safe with me." The back of her bra snapped off and I nudged the straps down with my nose. Her bra made a soft echo when it thudded to the ground across the room. I faced Emma's bare chest, wonderful in every way a woman's chest could be. I panicked when Emma began to cover herself up after I failed to mention my thoughts. "Sweetie, sweetie no," I took her hands in mine and pinned her arms to the bed, diving down to adore her stomach. "You're so perfect. Please don't ever hide yourself from me."

I was okay with Will kissing my stomach and teasing my arms and even running his palms (and wonderful fingers) down the sides of my half naked body. But then he teased the inside of my thighs and placed his hand over my hip. "Will I don't-"

"Shh darling. Let go. Let me take care of you." His nimble fingers lightly poked the soaking hot spot of my panties and I gasped loudly. I felt a cool gush of air and before I could react Will already pushed my panties to my ankles. I kicked them off but still in shock of him, and myself.

"Would you like to do the 'honors'?" I chucked lowly as I stared into Emma's big brown, surprised eyes. Some emotion I've never seen before flickered in Emma's eyes. She bit into her soft pink lip as I finally felt relief below my belt. I smirked at her and lowered to her ear. "It's going to hurt at first, but keep going and it'll get better. I promise, love." I reached over and pulled out a condom from the bedside table, praying to God they weren't expired. Goosebumps were obtrusive and loud across her arms and stomach. My fingers found their way to tracing patterns among them, increasing the feeling of us joining.

Why did I ever wait so long for this? I wish I would've let Will do this to me when I asked him, this is wonderful. Oh God. Will rolled my nipple between his fingers, calloused from playing the guitar and brisk from playing piano. A loud moan escaped my mouth and I shut it as soon as it came out. That was so unlady like. What would Will think? He didn't seem to notice. Sweat formed on his brow as he moved effortlessly above me and I realized what his real passion was. Me.

"You're all I've ever wanted Emma. All I ever wanted." My words were drawn out as I panted above her. "Please do something. Touch me. Kiss me." Emma placed her arms around my stomach and pushed me deeper into her and kissed me before our faces collided. Her kiss was sexy and full of wanton. I gladly accepted her tongue's entrance when it forcefully but gently pushed against my lips. Her hips finally started moving with mine as we caught onto a steady rhythm.

I didn't know what I was doing but Will seemed to like it, so I went along. I expected my first time to be about understanding and passion, but it was more about love and confessions. Neither were bad things but the events leading up to this final intimate moment was not all I thought it to be. Our pace suddenly quickened and Will began whispering about coming and being close. We were close, were we not close enough for him? Our sweaty bodies were pressed against each other how could we be closer? He touched me again. Like he did earlier, but longer this time.

_Oh._

Her moans of my name bounced off the walls of my bedroom and never had I heard a better sound. The sound of Emma coming for me, because of me, screaming my name was sweeter than the sound of children playing together, unless they were our kids. Sweeter than the voices in a musical, unless it was us. Sweeter than sugar cookies, unless we made them together.

As Will collapsed on me and jutted my thigh over his hip I knew this is what I had been looking for since I saw him. A feeling of love and appreciation from the one man I would always fight for. The man who would always steal my heart.


End file.
